As an emotionally mature woman who's embracing her feminine energy and power in romance, it's important to build out a supportive belief system. Your mindset determines what you notice in love, and what experiences you attract with men.
Your subconscious mind is literally made to seek out the things that you believe are important. Whatever you focus on and expect in romance (whether it's good or bad) is being amplified by your sunconscious mind as something to look out for. With the right mindset, you can train your mind to notice amazing things in men that help you attract and develop your soulmate relationship.
In terms of the Law of Attraction, like attracts like. So, you will attract thoughts, people, and experiences that are equal to whatever frequency you are predominantly emitting. When you deliberatly shift your thoughts and energy (mindset) to align with your true love, you become irrisistable to supportive thoughts, experiences, and the man himself!
Here are 3 ways to overcome dating anxiety and attract your soulmate with your feminine energy and power:
Your soulmate connection is not something that you ever really need advice on.
You've got to drop the middle school rules. Your romantic relationship is not a group project. And your soulmate connection is not something that you need advice on. As a woman, you're feminine energy is connected to your intuition. You know when a man is right for you, and you know when a man is not the one for you. Consulting with your friends and outside sources is immature and it doesn't empower you to be a woman who makes good decisions for herself. You are the leader of your life, and your intuitoin is the most powerful tool that you have. To trust your intuition, you've got to see yourself as capable of making the right choices in your own life. As an adult woman, gone are the days of having conversations with your girlfriends where you discuss, "What do you think he meant when he said this?" or "What should I respond back to him?"
Your romantic relationship is not a group project. And your soulmate connection is not something that you need advice on. Your soulmate relationship is something you were created to experience. It's a part of you who you are; and nothing outside of you can tell you about your own soul.
If your soulmate is eternally connected to you, then your soul knows. Your soul knows who he is. Your soul knows where he is. Your soul knows how to guide him to you. As a woman, as a Divine Feminine, this knowing is like... your whole thing.
Journal On This: What are you afraid to find out? What are you afraid that your soul might say?
And when you answer those questions, you will have discovered the exact fears and thoughts that are blocking your intution in romance. That's what you've got to clear so that you can hear what the infinite intelligence within you has to say.
Affirm this: My soulmate is my destiny; and I am being guided to him one day at a time, one inspired action at a time.
Exercise: Close your eyes, and take a few a breaths. Then ask, "tell me about my soulmate," and listen to what comes up. It might be an idea. A vision. A knowing. Write down your answer.
When I did that exercise, I was shocked. I realized that I was afraid to trust my intution regarding my soulmate because of mistakes I'd made in the past. Years ago, I had been told by a psychic that I would end up with a certain man... and things did not go the way I thought they would. As I reflected about that experience, I realized that I spent that entire process trying to bring a prophecy to life. I wasn't concerned with how I felt about that man, or if I would truly have wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I just thought I was supposed to have some ending with him. I thought he had to be my person. And I spent the connection terrified that if it didn't work out with him... I would never find a better man.
But he was not the best man for me. He wasn't the man that God had created to love me. He was one of the men who God created to reflect back my abandonment wounds and childhood experiences of neglect back to me. And he wasn't the kind of man that I truly would have wanted to end up with.
I tried to force that connection... and it didn't end well. It didn't unfold well, either. There wasn't much that went well in that connection, actually. But I healed my way out of it (the connection, the man, and the heartbreak).
And I see now that I spent so much time asking everyone else what I should do and what they thought and what their intuition was telling them... but I never asked myself. There was always a part of me that wanted to end the connection, but I was afraid. And if I had asked my intuition... she would have told me a very clear, resounding NO to the whole situation. But I wasn't ready to receive it. Because I had such low self worth, I thought that finding a guy so handsome and successful would be difficult to do again. So I didn't ask. And I was dissapointed every single time anyone ever told me that he and I were, in fact, not soulmates destined to be together, after all. I felt like I had failed. Like I wasn't really good enough to be loved; and like maybe I would never find anyone to love me.
My fears were wrong. As they always are. In the years since I met that soulmate... I have met many soulmates who (although they weren't my one-true-love) were better than the man I thought I'd never be able to replace. There were men who were more intelligent. And men who were more kind and forward. There were men who I had a greater sexual passion and chemistry with. There were better men. My fears and low self worth were wrong.
So, the exercise brought up some fear within me, that I got to quickly move through. My intuition tells me about my soulmate, and it just feels right. He is everything I ever would have dreamt of as a young girl. And he has everything I desire as a grown woman who is seriously interested in building generational wealth for her family.
My soulmate isn't something I'm asking for advice on, anymore. I don't need or want to hear anyone else's opinion. This is my life. I know who I am and what I want. And I know, in my heart, who was made to give that to me, and live that out with me. That's all I need. As a woman who trusts herself and her intuition, my inner knowing is all that I need. It guides me well, and I believe that it's hyper masculine (unsupportive) to ever believe or even entertain the thought that it could lead me wrong.
My point is this: I know who my soulmate is; and my confidence only allows him to come in sooner and quicker and faster. Of course, I will keep you updated; but this is a post about you!
Journal on this, and then let me know your answers in the comments or via email: When is a time that you pursued a relationship without checking with your soul, first? What do you use to guide you in relationships? What do you use (or allow) to influence your behavior in love?
Now. Let's move on to tip number 2, shall we?
Men's Behavior Means Nothing About You.
A lot of your dating anxiety is coming from the insecurity that you might be rejected, abandoned, or otherwise end up alone.
Here's what you've got to understand: Relationships are no longer a source of adrenaline where you might be rejected, abandoned, or let down. Whether or not he's interested doesn't mean anything. Whether or not he texts you back doesn't mean anything. Whether or not you get the response that you want from a man doesn't mean anything.
That means, you get to have the relationship of your dreams, regardless of one man's behavior. And even regardless of a few men's behaviors.
When you think or act from the idea that, "if he doesn't text me back... then I don't get the guy that I want"... you're creating an experience where the stakes are high. You're creating unecessary drama that just... isn't actually any fun.
The "woman who might end up alone" is an identity you are choosing to assume. And you don't have to live from that energy. You are not the woman who might end up alone. You are the woman destined for a soulmate love that is so great that they write novels about it.
Reflect for a moment on your own self perception: How often are you approaching relationships and attempting to build connection while being afraid to say the wrong thing? That's giving way too much weight and power to someone's opinion of you. If you approach romance trying not to be rejected, your intentions are all fucked up! You're not trying not to be rejected. You're aligning with the love of your life. There's a big difference between those to actions, don't you agree?
You are the woman who was made for an amazing love. It is a part of who you are, and that cannot be changed. It is utterly impossible to say or do or be the wrong thing for the right man.
So loosen up and be willing to be yourself, even if some men might not get it. Be honest about who you are and what you want, even if some unknown man might not be receptive to that. That's not your responsibility to deal with. Your job is to embody the vibration of the version of yourself that is madly in love and aligned with her one highest soulmate. Your job is to use your imagination for good: seeing yourself connecting with men who love your honesty and directness.
Journal On This: How might a man positively respond to your authentic personality? What great things could happen in response to you telling a man that you're seeking marriage and a family?
When you've answered those questions, you've begin emitting a new frequency that attracts your soulmate: the man who is ready, willing, and eager to love you for who you are.
And that leads us to our third and final tip:
Your Power Is In Your Focus.
In life, you're going to get what you focus on. When you focus on what you don't want to happen, or where you don't want to go... you find yourself there, anyway. And the same is true for what happens when you clearly see yourself receiving what you want. This is the principle you're going to use when manifesting your true love.
When you focus on ending up with your true love, and when you focus on being accepted and desired by men... that is what you experience. That is what your subconscious mind seeks out, as your mind is always looking for evidence to support your beliefs. It's also the vibration that you emitt as you think about and see yourself as the kind of woman who has a one true love.
As the feminine leader of your life, you've got to know who you are. You've got to know what you were made for. You've got to decide that you're a woman who gets shown up for. You've got to decide that you're a woman who has a true love that seeks her out.
At its foundation, your soulmate relationship is a source of safety, security, and protection. When you decide that you are a woman who was made for an amazing love, then you are setting the stage for that safe, stable, and reliable connection. You're not waiting for a man to come in and make all of your dreams come true. You're not a sad, single woman until a man shows up and chooses to be with you. You're a woman who sees herself being deeply and completely loved. And as you practice seeing yourself as this loved woman, in this amazing union, it becomes a part of your identity. And from that place, your soulmate relationship feels natural. So when your soulmate actually shows up, it's this event that was expected.
You don't need to be frantic, worried, anxious, and scared in romance. You get to be trusting, expecting, and anticipating in romance. When the guy shows up, when your manifestation shows up, it's going to feel exactly how you expected it to. So you use your focus to direct your energy, which is what creates your reality, in a way that normalizes your soulmate love, even before he shows up. He is a puzzle piece that you know is here somewhere, and it's just obvious and inevitable that you're going to find him and plop him into his rightful place in your life.
When your one true love becomes your obvious, inevitable destiny and you see yourself as the woman who was made to be loved and sought after by her one true love... then the guy just has to show up. Like at that point, what else is there to say or do? It's who you are. It's who he is. It's what the two of you inteneded to experience before you incarnated on earth. It is what it is. And nothing can change that. And that's the mindset that sets the stage for a safe, stable, and reliable soulmate connection that stands the test of time.
And I absolutely know this to be true. It's the same process I use for calling in my soul aligned customers, audienct members, and clients.
Journal on this every morning: Who are you ready to be? What are you ready to experience in love?
None of This Happens Effectively With Your Past In The Way
If you haven't forgiven yourself for the unsupportive choices you made with previous men...
If you haven't developed a relationship with yourself where you feel worthy of a man that checks all of your boxes...
If you haven't connected to your emotions enough to hear your intuition...
Then your romantic life will continute to be a group project where you're running around seeking out the approval and guidance of external forces who can never know what's truly best for you.
And if you don't heal the parts of you that feel personally attacked when you're rejected...
If you haven't worked with the inner child that was abandoned and neglected by parents who didn't show up for her emotional needs or personal interests...
If you haven't properly addressed the part of you that is still terrified that she might end up alone...
Then you will continue to have difficulty being your authentic self in romance. You will do your best to avoid being rejected, and you will continue giving the power of what choices you make and what details you share... over to random men, complete strangers who you have decided are the people that determine whether or not you get love.
And when you don't heal from your past, you cannot focus on the future of your desire. Your limiting beliefs won't let you. You will journal and visualize and then you will hit a block. You will freak out and not understand why. You will continue to attract unwanted men, and negative dating experiences, because you have done nothing about the stories and pain being repeated on autopilot in your subconscious mind.
You will continue to subconsciously self sabotage your romantic life until you take complete control of your energy. And that only happens through introspective, healing work.
As the woman who is comitted to aligning with her soulmate love, I'm sure you'll be thrilled to hear about how I can help with this. The Love After Loss course is the professional woman's guide to processing the pain of the past, opening up to love after heartbreak; and manifesting your soulmate.
Across 5 modules and several bonuses, I'm taking you deep into your past relationships and childhood experiences so that you can rectify the damage of the past before building out supportive belief systems that support your one true love in showing up.
Learn more about the course contents, read client and student testimonials, and enroll using the link below.
My job isn't to tell you what to do. My job is to help you clear the debris of the past so you can clearly decide what is best for you; and then, my job is to give you the tools you need to call that in to your physical reality.
That's all for today! I hope this episode supported you on your soulmate journey! I'd love to hear your feedback at nathallie@nathhughes.com
I'll be back again with next Monday with more life, mindset, and manifestation tips!
Talk to you soon,
NathHughes
P.S. Have you gotten access to the free recourse library, yet? Click the image to receive your new toolbox of spiritual, mindset, and energetic maintenance resources!
